segunda-feira, 25 de janeiro de 2010

Redação com (muitos) erros.

Boa tarde a todos.
Fiz uma redação contando meu fim de semana para ajudar alguns alunos a desenvolver a escrita e já apliquei em três aulas hoje. O resultado tem sido ótimo pois eles estão se identificando muito com a forma como ela foi escrita.
Na redação caprichei nos erros. Há muitos ! Escrevi como um aluno de nível intermediário - avançado que já sabe bastante mas escreve pouco, ou seja, ela está bem construída mas cheia de erros. Erros que mostram que a pessoa continua pensando várias vezes em Português ao tentar escrever em Inglês.
Aí vai ela. Tentem identificar os erros. Alguns são bem óbvios, outros, não tanto, pois requerem bastante leitura.

I had a lot of fun this weekend !

Friday was a very good day. I woke up, went to my grandmother and we drank breakfast together. She had done a wonderful chocolate cake and she had also bought crackers and cheese, two things I love to eat.

I had my normal classes at 8 and 9 in the morning and at 10 I took my bike and went to ride. It was great ! The weather was good, not so hot as the previous days, and my bike was cleaned and fixed the day before, what made it go each more fast.

After I went to the beach to swim a little bit. The water was perfect: clean and clear !
I think I swam for 30 or 40 minutes, I don´t remember too well but I´m sure I stopped swimming when I started feeling hungry again.

I rode back, took a shower, did my beard and had lunch with my grandmother and my uncle.

The afternoon was amazed too. I and my wife and daughter went to the movies to (finally) watch Avatar. We liked the film but we thought it was very similar to The Matrix, Troy and The Last Samurai. It was a lot funny but I believe it´s not good enough to win the Oscars. It´s a movie we´ll always remember but it´s not a great.

Saturday was the day we met two good friends ours, Eric and Veronica. We went to Barra Shopping and made a lot of things together. First we played bowling. I made my best not to win all the games but it was stronger than me and I won everything. At last nobody felt sad.

Then we had lunch on Burger King, the best fast food restaurant in my opinion. Of course I´ve eaten a lot. I love everything they make there.

After that we went to Hot Zone to play videogames and basketball. We must stay there for more than two hours. Lais was simply thrilled !

We came back after 11:30 o´clock and I was looking forward to spend the next day at the beach.

Yeah, I really wanted to go to the Praia Vermelha on Sunday but all of us woke up after 11 o´clock. I knew we had to leave home at 3 o´clock tops to go to Maracanã. So we didn´t have some choice but stay home calmly having breakfast, reading the newspaper and watching TV.

At 3 o´clock my wife and my daughter were far from getting ready to leave of course. After complaining and hurrying them we were able to leave at 3:30. We took the subway and got there around 4:40.

The match was good. We won again and we sang and jumped with the crowd all the time. Too bad the judge clearly wanted us to lose but we won, in spite of him.

We came back and got home at 8. I was starving because I hadn´t lunched and fortunately the mother of Flavia had made a wonderful meal. I must have eaten like a animal.

Too sleepy, I could still watch Fantastico until Tadeu Schmidt showed the goals of the matches but I lost BBB 10. I was tired and had to wake up early for my class at 7 today.

That´s it.

5 comentários:

Guto Carvalho disse...

Gostei demais dessa ideia. Vou imprimir essa sua redação com erros e tentar descobri-los.

Fabio Costa e Silva disse...

Obrigado, Guto.

Camylla disse...
Este comentário foi removido pelo autor.
Camylla disse...

Desculpe excluir a mensagem, mas e que estava toda
Bom agora vai, adorei esse texto todo errado, percebi que se tem muitos erros, vc mal consegue entender algumas coisas, eu me habituei a pensar em ingles quando leio e nesse caso tive que traduzir algumas coisas mas mesmo assim ficou estranho o entendimento. vendo isso imagino como deve ser dificil pros professores entenderem muitos texto escritos por nos Parabens

Anônimo disse...

Hi Brothers n Sisters

Looks 4 sure like really could be a righteous forum for me
I am ecstatic to have found it.

Here's a funny quote to make you smile : When in doubt, poke it with a stick. :


Anybody like Airbrushing

Looking forward to a good long stay here!

Nebraska,Platte Center